Thursday, April 23, 2009

Good Day

So I was just looking over my past entry and I remember the last interesting encounter I had wit a bum. It was 10 years go maybe, in a January. I was also downtown and it was snowing I believe. There was a bum on the street, stocky kind of guy, wanted a quarter or something. Spare change. I gave him a quarter I think. Back then I didn't have the amount of change I do now, or maybe I just didn't have the amount of generosity I do now, I don't know, but that's all I gave him. In return I wanted something else. I asked him where I could find a gun. His body shrank and curved away from me, as if he wanted nothing to with me. I thought to myself "I gave you a quarter you dumb fuck and now you won't tell me where I can find a gun??" I mean it works on all those damn TV shows. People know where you can find a gun. This guy either didn't know or wouldn't tell me, and you know what? I could not find a damn place with a gun! It was frustrating. So really damn fuckin' frustrating. I bet now I'll find some or there'll be people out there who will know where I can find one, or will probably have some of their own. Well, I don't need a gun now! Maybe it was good I didn't find one then. Might've gone to jail. In a way maybe God was looking out for me. Who? Yeah, God. I do believe in God, Jesus, and all that stuff. Weird way how I got to thinking about that.

Few years ago, I believed there was a God but I didn't do all that Christianity crap. Primarily because the last church I went to, or the last group of people I was with were kind of elitist almost. They accused me of doing things against God. Sure, after hearing the bit about the gun, you'd agree, right? No, things like yoga or meditating. Those things. So I said to myself "fuck them" and never went back. So a few years ago, I got dumped. I had a good friend, Corrie, actually. She used to work with me and she was worried about me. She said maybe it'd help if I went to church with her. My first thought "fuck that", but you know, something about Corrie's posture. A sad hope. So I thought I'd give it a shot. Then January 8, 2007 I let Jesus into my life and things continued to change and get better. In the February I had three stories published, all within that month which was overwhelming since I was used to maybe one every maybe 3 months or more. I got over being dumped and got my life together. Things have been better ever since, minus the part about my uncle, but even that isn't so bad.

Granted I don't believe in some of the Christian extremist crap you might hear about. Say, I don't know, bombing some abortion clinics. I'm not Christian to say you all suck and are going to hell. I'm Christian because I suck and don't want to go to hell. Simple as that. Though there are some mistakes I still need to rectify. People I need to forgive and all that. That's the hard part. But Christianity is a journey, it's a path. It's not like hey you're Christian, you're fixed! It's more like hey, you're Christian, Jesus has got your back. Which he does. I mean He's not happy with everything I do, but that's it in a nutshell, he has my back.

I know people, actually come to think of, a lot of people who practice tarot reading or some other kind of divination. I don't think they're going to hell. For me though, I stopped tarot reading years ago. Mostly because I wasn't getting the answers I wanted. The answers I was getting was the truth though, and that's something I couldn't or wouldn't accept. Does this mean I won't have my tarot read? Of course not! That's stuff is fun!

There was some bit on TV about delving into the spiritual realm, trying to go to places where you have no idea what's going on. So I'm on the fence about tarot reading. As long as you control the cards and the cards don't control you.

I loved MJ's response when I told her about a friend reading tarot: "Those are evil!" My reply: "No they're not!" and I proceeded to tell her what they were. Funny though, there was a friend I had years ago who thought the same thing or she had someone say something to her like that. Something like "I'm gonna do tarot on you!" Luckily for her, she knew me, and she knew you couldn't hurt someone with tarot cards. The only thing the cards do is tell the truths, and I say truths because it gives you different paths you can take. I am, of course, maybe oversimplifying the tarot. It's really an interesting thing to study. Funny thing is they even have a Christian deck.

So the whole point of this entry before I went on this tangent was I had a good day today. It was cold and when I came home, I had a long nap and when I got up, I heard it snowed. So hopefully, tomorrow will be an even better day. Work situation was worked out. Still taking it a day at a time. The morning was a bit of hell for me, for like two hours, but the rest of it flew by nicely, though unfortunately I had to work 8 hours in the whole day. I don't like the whole 9 to 5 crap. But it went alright. I got to come home, talk a bit online, check email, then sleep. Sleep is what I needed. And surprisingly I feel a whole lot better.

I miss Corrie though, I really do. She was like my rock, though we all know, it's Jesus who's the rock. Wherever she is, God Bless.

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